ahhh!! I am so dead!
My exams so far are really badly done...
I think I'll get 50 for all of them...
oh no...!
what is happening to me?? Q_Q
Went home and ate my stress-free consumption - haagen daaz vanilla ice-cream...
probably the best ice-cream in the world! >w<

http://www.myheritage.com

http://www.myheritage.com

My freedom is in two days.

Just two days.

Nail art,

extensions,

winter clothes,

summer clothes,

photos,

water park,

theme park,

movies,

malls,

shopping,

New Zealand,

Sydney,

winter,

OH GOD.

hereeee i come, vacaattiiioooonnn!!!!

>w<

PIF!

My Mom used to tell me "Even if you are angry, that is no reason to lash it out on other people." or, when I come home mad, "Look at your father! He always has problems in the office but he always comes home with a smile!"

I always let her lectures pass. However today, those two lectures had come to life.

I had my physics final exam today in the schorching heat, my skin burnt and sweating. Having the initial "V", I sat at the furthest end, beside the window. The aircon wasn't working so the windows were wide open.

As I did the paper, I felt fear. And intense panic. The cars were honking busily; I heard motorcyles racing down the streets, and an ambulance on its emergency run. Finally, I lifted up my hand and poked Ratna, who sat in front of me. I motioned her to close the windows. So she did. And a sudden rush of silence sent a pleasing sensation into my head.

...

I reached home, trudging as I walked. My left leg throbbing with pain, my head screaming, my neck sweating. I was so angry. It wasn't just the heat either. I rang the doorbell, leaning against the wall. My mom opened it, and knew instantly from my expression the exam did not go well. She asked more questions. I ignored her. I snapped. I flew onto my bed, and was suddenly in silent tears. My mum put on the shades, a warm yellow hue embracing the walls of my room. And she left.

I continued my tears, and my brother entered. He talked about his bass, and I turned around. "Leave me alone," I spoke, the words muffled in my pillow. "Okay," he replied, surprisingly, without shock, disturb or even a pause.

My cell phone vibrated. A tone rang. I looked at the screen. It was her. Apologies were said, and I instantly felt better. Honesty was, after all, the solution to most problems. And I told her why I was crying.

And I suddenly came to a realisation. This morning, I snapped at my mom because I was panicking. I ignored my dad when he greeted me. I told my mom I don't like dumplings for breakfast, and only ate one. When she told me I should not panic so much, I told her, in a loud voice, that I cannot not be panicking, because I have not finish studying. When I reach home, I was cruel to my mom. I told my brother to leave me alone. And I realised... that in a day alone, I had sinned so much. I hurt people because of my selfish reasons. When all they tried to do was cheer me up, or advise me.

With this, I hushed my sobs and wiped my tears. I came out of my room, and embraced my mom. Understanding she is, she pet my back and told me gently, "I know it was hard, but you have to be strong, okay?" My tears surged up again, and I turned away, relieved.

Just your presence alone makes everything fall back to place.
Today under the rain we wait together...

Ratna and I were just walking in T.A when I heard my phone ringing inside my bag. I muttered, annoyed at the persistent zipper and finally accepted the anonymous phone call.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Is this Vina Kosasih?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"This is from Gadis Sampul."
I was about to rejoice, thinking that they have come to deliver the news that I passed the first round of the Gadis Sampul competition. However...
"We want to tell you that you have to be here by 4pm or else you cannot go to the next round."
"...What?"
"Yes, didn't you recieve the phone call or a letter saying that you passed the first round and you are obliged to be here today?"
"...No... What's the address anyway?"
(The person mentions the address)
"So can you be here at 4?"
"..."
The time was 3.32pm. How is it possible to get there in half an hour?! I kept silent for at least a minute, the phone abandoned. Think, think...
"I..."
"If you cannot make it today, then you can join again next year..."
"..."
"..."
"... I'm sorry... I don't think I can..."
I turned off the phone call, after saying goodbye.

Back in reality, Ratna screamed. "OH MY F---.... Vina, can I swear?"
"Yes. I want to swear too."
So like crazy, outrageous girls, we swore... A bad one, while screaming. How can we help it?!??! The we hugged and screamed again.

zzz...

Well, like Ratna said, over a thousand girls would kill to be in my place, but I just threw the chance away. But it's impossible to get there in half an hour. Not to mention that we have to take a taxi because our drivers are not here (in T.A mall). This is not a movie, where you can run to a place and actually be there, in time. Besides, I had to be in a plain t-shirt and jeans, which I was not.

Anyways, I thought I should just think about it positively. Hey, at least I got it right, even though I couldn't make it in time.