Shadow.

I was six years old

When my parents went away

I was stuck inside a broken life

I couldn't wish away

She was beautiful

She had everything and more

And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please

It used to be so hard being me

Living in the shadow

Of someone else's dream

Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me

Living in a nightmare

A never-ending sleep

But now that I am wide awake

My chains are finally free

Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided

One less perfect than the next

I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best

Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize

That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening

There's so much more to me you haven't seen

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother

Everything's cool now

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother

Everything's cool now

Oh, my life is good

I've got more than anyone should

Oh, my life is good

And the past is in the past

In a moment of sorrow and helplessness, it is so easy to turn to darkness. Hiding my tears behind the baggage though I knew it was obvious. And I imagined my heart freezing up, bounded by cold ice. The word "hatred" repeated itself in my mind; I had heard everything. I knew it all. And it never has been more real than this. Everything makes sense and yes, Ashlee, I am always second best. He is perfect. I so heard.

Our feelings are very much the same. And I think it is so much easier to avoid any closeness, for the sake of not hurting myself anymore. Feeling shattered and tired, tired of crying. I have to learn to toughen myself up.