just tired

I know you're probably wondering why I'm blogging twice today. Something I don't usually do. But it doesn't matter.

The above video is a Twilight parody... I love it!!! So funny. Watch it guys it's worth your 3 minutes. Watching it made me remember how I hated (hate) Bella's dumb stuttering... "I..wha..n-no..! Y-you can't, Edward!'

Seriously I was so annoyed. She talked like she had something blocking her nose. Which can never be good.

Tomorrow I am watching a piano recital with Juen and her friend. I'm quite looking forward to it~ Oh wow I haven't met Juen in ages.

Right now I feel so tired... I have no motivation whatsoever to get working on any of my projects... I haven't even read the briefs so I don't know exactly how much work is in store for me. But for sure I know it's A LOT. They keep coming in...! Argh...!! And I keep getting lazier by the day. So not good. Is it just me? Or is everybody feeling the same way since the projects are getting incredibly annoying. I hate having to use indesign all the time!! I long for photoshop.

Actually I don't know what I long for. It seems right now all I want is to get away from all that design shit. I thought packaging would be fun but I can't even cut something neatly and my presentation standard is quite bad. So...

I don't like graphic design either. And I am quite sick of making posters. What exactly do I want?? What a hard one to answer. Since I am always changing drastically. I hate what I liked and like what I hated.

I remember I was on the phone with my student supervisor's son the other day. His name is Al, and he told me: "Did you know that the average retirement age for designers is around 30? Because they can't stand having to be creative all the time."

Perhaps I'm not yet 30. But I do feel that creeping in... that tiredness of picking fonts and varying the scales and angles of things making them look nice. Using special effects...

If I think about it, the only thing I haven't been bored of as yet is my blog. I don't remember ever saying "I'm bored of blogging". Perhaps "I'm not in the mood to blog" but never bored of it. Maybe it's because blogging is such a personal thing. And personal things interest me (maybe because I am a narcist? haha) much more than other stuff. But what the heck. You can't make a living out of your own personal being. Who wants to pay you just to know more about you?

Maybe I should consider the direction of a goldigger... Hmm

Sometimes I have this slight feeling of fear for the future. I guess everyone do. On my part, it's because I know myself, and I know I am quite restless, always seeking something different, if not extreme. I don't think I can live without change... that would be so depressing. But change can't be too good either. If I get married one day, I can't just easily decide to change because I'm bored of my partner. If I get a good-paying job I can't just quit because I'm sick of it (or can I).

Whatever. I believe in taking responsibilities and the older I grow, the more there will be. Responsibilities will cramp my world until there might be no more room to change and I'll have no more choice but to live the way it already is.

Perhaps when I turn 60 and have retired, I shall consider becoming a hippie or something.

Labels: Twilight