2 months later...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I have just arrived at Melbourne again.
Yes, again.
A lot has happened in 2 months. Like the human beings we are, we mostly do not notice the process that goes on in the present and yet we count the months that have gone by with our fingers and realise it's been so short yet so long. I have a new desk lamp now. It's a hand-me-down from Listy who never uses it and now it's mine as my old bulb broke and I was too lazy to get it changed. I also have a pink tofu doll and a blue one. In addition to my green one which I bought a year ago, I now have a complete set. My boyfriend and I managed to celebrate our first year together and his birthday. He now has more feminine items in his room in America, all of which are gifts from me. We now have the exact same MUJI photo frame containing the exact same photograph.
I am less than 2 months away from the end of my bachelor program.
Every time the days count down I feel something breaking inside me. The negligence, the freedom... When I was a kid I could get away with anything because I was a kid. I had holidays where I did not have to think about anything but play. I told my Dad: you know what I think... kids start to 'grow up' when we can't have a holiday without having to think about work. My father calls it 'responsibility'. I call it time.
I've been reading books again. Sometimes I feel that books are like poison. They pull me in so quickly and I forget about the rest of the world. I forget about everything else, and the fact that I care about my degree, work to be done, the even higher education I'm pursuing. It feels so good to be lost in this world. But the moment I put it down I feel like a man who has gone in a coma for several months and regain consciousness and the world changes just a little and things are not quite the same. That sort of feeling. Mentally I label it as drowsiness. Physically it is low blood pressure.
Yes, again.
A lot has happened in 2 months. Like the human beings we are, we mostly do not notice the process that goes on in the present and yet we count the months that have gone by with our fingers and realise it's been so short yet so long. I have a new desk lamp now. It's a hand-me-down from Listy who never uses it and now it's mine as my old bulb broke and I was too lazy to get it changed. I also have a pink tofu doll and a blue one. In addition to my green one which I bought a year ago, I now have a complete set. My boyfriend and I managed to celebrate our first year together and his birthday. He now has more feminine items in his room in America, all of which are gifts from me. We now have the exact same MUJI photo frame containing the exact same photograph.
I am less than 2 months away from the end of my bachelor program.
Every time the days count down I feel something breaking inside me. The negligence, the freedom... When I was a kid I could get away with anything because I was a kid. I had holidays where I did not have to think about anything but play. I told my Dad: you know what I think... kids start to 'grow up' when we can't have a holiday without having to think about work. My father calls it 'responsibility'. I call it time.
I've been reading books again. Sometimes I feel that books are like poison. They pull me in so quickly and I forget about the rest of the world. I forget about everything else, and the fact that I care about my degree, work to be done, the even higher education I'm pursuing. It feels so good to be lost in this world. But the moment I put it down I feel like a man who has gone in a coma for several months and regain consciousness and the world changes just a little and things are not quite the same. That sort of feeling. Mentally I label it as drowsiness. Physically it is low blood pressure.
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Hello. This blog was created for me to store memories. Because... I have a bad memory. hehe
juice-22 EST.2006
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