I have changed.

Physically, I have lost my fringe, I look like I've got a nose job in that picture (but I haven't) and to my greatest surprise, I seem as though I've lost my baby face! Thanks to my hair, I am no longer bread face. *dances* :D

One month may seem like such a short time but looking back on it, many things have happened. I cosplayed, acted in a short movie, met new people, made plans for the future, embarrassed myself in public, bought my first wig, understood more about the fragility of human emotions, experimented with and challenged my capabilities, learnt new things, ate instant noodles for days in a row, put on fake eyelashes by myself (which surprisingly wasn't as hard as I thought), experienced a whole lot of things - both positive and negative. Everything has taught me to be a better person.

They say you can't feel the calm when there's been no storm. And that might be true, I may not be able to fully appreciate what I have right now. I'm guilty of taking too many things for granted. So foolish as it may sound, I rather look forward to the storm. I know I will regret ever saying this, but I seem to have this thirst to learn (not about things on the book). The things I write in this blog are things that fascinate me - the things that I learn upon growing up. I just want to experience as many things in life as possible. Right now that is a clear reason I can see for being alive - to get as much of it as possible.

So thanks for giving me the opportunity to dye my hair more than 7 times (i think), have different coloured eyes, try on emo/scene style (lol faker much), harajuku decora style, be a lolita maid walking down the streets, act in a video, have a pink wig, cosplay, have a multicultural group of great friends, perform on stage multiple times, be a cheerleader even though I can't dance, study in Melbourne, live in a four seasons country, write my first resume, scout for part-time jobs and got instantly rejected because I wasn't Korean, meet the blue-shirt underwearless man on the bike, spent the whole night clubbing and reach home at 7am, randomly yell from my apartment balcony just because the weather was so good, drink a bottle of wine on the rooftop listening to music, snuggle in bed while it rains outside, having to run from the train station to home without an umbrella and it was hailing like mad, having to stand for one + hour in the cold rain with our boots soaked in mud waiting for the bus from tulip farm on my birthday (also having my Dad panicking and almost calling the Victorian police to send a search team for me), my babies Gucci and Polo, my precious friends, and of course my family which I am forever grateful for.

So much more to list... Hahahaha. Anyway those are really some of the great memories. I just feel so alive!

Have you got anything you really want to do but never got to it? When's the last time you told someone precious you love them (look I ain't no hypocrite, I just did)? You shouldn't let anything stop you... Seize the moment, go for it. You're not just a certain age once, every second is only there once in your lifetime. It never repeats itself. So experience as much as you can :)

Okay I admit, I don't know what to blog about. But I really feel the urge for expression. And I don't know why instead of expressing through my poster that's due in less than 2 days, I instead write a blog post. I guess I'm just more verbal than visual -instant sad face-. On a random note, I am slightly happy that both of those words start with a V, just like my name.

In fact, I have recently felt that my name is pretty nice. There is a unity between my first and last name: Vina Kosasih. VK. I like it. Thanks mom and dad for the nice name, I will no longer complain to you about giving me a better name. I can't imagine myself being called... Elizabeth Kosasih (well whoa that actually wasn't that bad to be honest), Renee Kosasih (hey that's not bad either), Angelica Kosasih (sounds too much like my bro's name), Laurence Kosasih (wait is this a girl's name?), Kylie Kosasih, Winnie Kosasih, Lydia Kosasih, Mandy Kosasih, Jessica Kosasih, Cheryl Kosasih, or whatever.

What to blog about .... hmmm ...

Oh I had a very nice conversation with Chu the other day. We chatted for 3 hours ++ non-stop and didn't even notice. It was that good of a flow. Our topics ranged from all the petty stuffs to deeper arguments about design, psychology, and the interests of our generation. Perhaps our intellect is almost matched, though maybe not, she may not be so happy to have an intellect matching that of humble ol' me (lol). Yes, I used 'lol' right after that sentence. Just proves how intellectual I am. She did say we are similar though, so I can assume that was what she meant right?

Unimportant things like these gush out of my mouth whenever I start rambling. Sorry.

Back to what I was actually going to say, our conversation was great. And at one point we talked about how cool it would be if we were old grannies sitting on our patios (if they were to still exist in 70 years time), sipping tea or whatever shit they drink in that era, and saying to each other 'oh my dear friend, we grew up together!'. Or something along those granny lines.

I mean - we grew up together. I didn't realise that simple fact - that you never grow up alone, but you grow up together along with other people who are involved in your life. I grew up with so many people. I grew up with Chu, Susan, Ratna, Ken, Sammy, Angelita, Irene, Josie, Listy, Petrick, Martin, Allison, Angela, Caroline, Bella, Daryl, Angelina, Janet, Cathy, Recca, Nattanich, Sophia, Celine, and many other people I simply can't list them all.

Am I the only weird one who thinks it's amazing we grew up together? Yes? For instance I'll be telling my child in the future "Oh this is aunt Angelita, we grew up together. I always go to her and rant about guy stuff, I honestly don't know how she puts up with it, but I sure never let that bother me. She's such a dear ~"

None of us know where life would take us , and sometimes it gets really hard to keep in touch with even my closest friends. It would be a lie to say distance does not keep us apart, which is really kind of sad. We might have msn, skype, whatever, things just aren't like how it was. We don't see each other, we don't have lunch together or skip classes together. We don't go to TA after school and ice-skate, we don't go to Happy Puppy and karaoke like mad.

Aaah typing this really makes me nostalgic~ High school sure was a good memory. I think back on all the shit I went through, all the fighting and the tears, but now I can only see them as happy memories, it's funny. Life can be such a mystery when everything is happening but you don't notice them until you look back and you realise it has all been amazing, every second of it.

Lol I feel rather inspired now, maybe I can start doing my poster design? Hahahha. Tonight when I pray I'll be sure to thank God for giving me this gift called life.

It seems everyone is growing up. We will go through pain and somehow make it out alive.